5 Ways I’m like a Vampire

I wrote this awhile back but never posted it. I found it it my notes today and decided, clearly, that this was written under the influence of heavy medication. Just saying.


I’m sitting here in a dark room, recovering from a migraine, and I realize that maybe I’m a lot cooler than I think. There are several ways I can think of off the top of my head that I’m exactly like a vampire. I mean, I’m not craving blood or anything, but other than that, I’m a goth outfit and a set of pointy teeth away from being supernatural here. Check it out:

1. I hate sunlight.

This isn’t all the time, but oh man, when I have a migraine I hate that sunny, cheerful orb of ocular doom. It’s like shards of glass piercing my brain, to the point that I stay inside with the shades drawn and walk (well, stumble) my dog wearing the darkest sunglasses I can find. I don’t normally consider myself a creature of darkness, but there are days I wish I lived underground.

2. I’m nocturnal.

I often have insomnia after a migraine, especially if I spent all day trying to sleep to avoid the pain. I stay up half the night, then I’m a zombie (ahem, vampire) the next day until I give up and take another nap, starting the cycle all over again. What can I say, I am the night.

3. I can’t stand the smell of garlic.

Or really any strong smells when I’m in middle of an attack. No perfume, no spices, and definitely no garlic. See? Vampire.

4. I have a hard time going to church.

Between Saturday night insomnia and the fact that weekend stress letdown is actually a huge trigger for me, I have a very difficult time making it to church on Sunday mornings. Add that to the loud music and huge crowd, and the whole experience is a bit rough for me. Despite that, I keep trying because I know I need the friends, community, and spiritual encouragement that I get there.

5. I feel like the animated dead.

I guess that’s also a zombie characteristic (I might post about that if I start craving gray matter). It’s just hard to feel like I’m really living when I’m tired and in pain most of the time.


Still, at least I’m not drinking blood or turning into a giant bat. Yet.
It’s really only a matter of time.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s